It's Saturday morning and again I woke up full of anxiety. This time I can admit it's not as bad as it has been, but still I feel it is there. It's 6am and I am wide awake on my precious Saturday morning. Why??!! I need to sleep! I need to rest. Why am I awake? Then I look across my bed and see the day trying to break through my closed blinds. Then it hits me, I am alive! I am here. Why am I allowing myself to sit in this very low space in my thinking. I know I am in charge of my own thinking, I am in control of my own thoughts, so why oh why am I allowing the overwhelming feeling of rejection to sit on me as though its something new and unrecognizable?
In a desperate move, I grasped for the tools I KNOW WORK. I thought I must do something, I can't keep living like this, trapped inside my own mind.
I started smiling. I forced myself to smile. I decided, first step....SMILE! So I did! I smiled. There I lay in the middle of the break of morning in my bed forcing myself to smile. As my smile broke through I made the decision, and it's a decision, to keep smiling.
The next step I KNOW WORKS, is start saying out loud (like not in my thoughts, but using my voice) I love this bed I am laying in! These sheets are so comfortable. This pillow, it's so cozy. Thank You Jesus for this bed and these sheets and this pillow. Thank You Jesus that I get to lay here in a room that has electricity running my fan and my electricity. Then that led me down the path of vocalizing how grateful I am for the simply fact that my legs work, my eyes can see, my ears can hear and so on. I literally just went down my body and started to celebrate the simple things.
As I laid there rehearsing what I am grateful for I literally started to feel a brea
king in the heaviness. This literally led me to a little giggle. When I felt the giggle come on, I made myself laugh. I decided, I am just going to go ahead and laugh, why not! So I did. I just found myself in a giggle.
Now, I teach this stuff everyday. It's what I have built into the residents at Bochys Place daily routine. I know it's part of the abundant life. Where I struggled was how to get myself back there while in such a deep pit. It was just one little step at a time.
Then I got up, decided to keep my smile on my face and get my day started. I made a pot of coffee and as it was brewing, I looked around my house and just kept smiling. I decided to not look at the things that were not right (needed to be cleaned, organized etc, you know how we women are) and focus on all the little things that were right. I know this sounds so basic and generic but when you put intention behind these little movements it literally starts to break that darkness.
As I had my coffee I decided to do the next thing I KNOW WORKS. That is confess what I know to be true about my Jesus. As I was walking around cleaning and confessing what I want from life and not what is heavy in my life, I clearly heard The Lord say, "go write that down now." So as I normally do, I kept cleaning and confessing what I want from life. (yes I can admit I am little bull headed, but God knows that about me) Again I heard, "go write that down right now and share that." And so that is me here now writing this and sharing this with you.
Here are my confessions that I believe I heard The Lord have me share with you.
I am accepted, I am not rejected
I am loved and I am loveable
I am a great friend and I have amazing friends
I attract the greatest people into my life
I attract abundance in every area of my life.
My life is prosperous and full of wins
Everything I need is on it's way to me now
People are lining up to partner with our mission
Our mission is lifted up and spoken about by great people
Everyone wants to partner with this mission and ministry
Abundance is in front of us, behind us and all around us
Every lie and stronghold built against me is destroyed and torn down
No weapon formed against me will prosper
Even my enemies are blessed by me
Intercessors are hearing my name in the spirit and covering me in prayer
Everything we need to build our vision is on it's way to us now
Kings are rising up and drawn to us supernaturally to help support our mission
God is for me and not against me
God is The Provider in my life.
God is The Author of Peace.
My children are blessed abundantly
They are lined up with prosperity in every area of their life.
For every door my husband encounters, ten more open.
My life is beautiful
My body is working in perfect condition
Every fiber in my body is in perfect original condition
My mind is healthy and alive
My mind is renewed everyday according to the promises of my Heavenly Father
I will say there are so many more, but this is what I was confessing today and what I believe I was to share with you. In closing let me share this, I always speak what I WANT, and not WHAT I DON'T WANT. Sometimes what I confess has not yet happened, but I know my atmosphere is empty and has not aim unless I fill it with confessions, vision and dreams.
I hope this helps you and encourages you to do the same! :)
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8